The NFL Pro Bowl

I was listening to ESPN Radio on my way to work after lunch this afternoon, and Erik Kuselias was filling in on The Herd.  I rarely find myself agreeing with Mr. Kuselias and today was no exception.  I feel like he tries even harder than Colin Cowherd to say outrageous things in order to get people to call in, email, text, whatever.


What he said today seemed pretty normal, but came off as absolutely outrageous to me.  You want to know what he said?  Are you ready for this?  Really?


Mr. Kuselias said, and I quote, "I enjoy the Pro Bowl."  Not even joking.


I have never, ever, ever, in my entire lifetime met a normal person with could say with a straight face that they like the Pro Bowl.


There are only two people who like the Pro Bowl:

1. Degenerate Gamblers
2. Degenerate Football Addicts

I'm not saying someone who likes football and watches it quite a bit.  I'm talking about degenerates with five wall-mounted LCDs for the sole purpose of watching multiple games at once on DirecTV's Sunday Ticket.  I'm talking about the guy who sits at Buffalo Wild Wings from the start of the pre-game show until Sunday Night Football is over.  The guy who actually laughs along with the hearty fake laughter on FOX's NFL Sunday.  That guy likes the Pro Bowl (and he probably bets on it too).

There is only one good all-star game in all of professional sports, and that's the mid-summer classic, the Major League Baseball All-Star Game.

Why is baseball's game the best?

Players play hard on both sides of the ball.  I watched Pedro Martinez throw arguably the best innings of his entire career in the 1999 game.  He was throwing against the best hitters in the entire game, and he made them look downright silly.  Pedro was throwing his best stuff.  He wasn't holding anything back.  Diving catches?  Leaping grabs to save home runs?  Killer defense?  Every year in the all-star game.

Of course, hitters are trying to win the game too.  They're bunting, they're swinging for the fences, they're hitting sacrifice flies, they're taking pitches.  It all comes down to effort, and I can't think of many examples where I'd question someone's effort or motivation in an all-star game.

There's pride for your league.  Baseball has the unique advantage in that players still want to win for their league.  Both leagues want to prove they play the best brand of baseball.  Interleague play has done nothing to diminish league pride -- if anything, it's increased it!

Something's on the line.  The game was great before home-field advantage in the World Series got put on the line, and now it's even better.  The American League has won EVERY year since this rule was put into effect, and yet, the game is still dramatic, heart-stopping, and enjoyable.  The outcome has been in doubt until the bitter end almost every time, but do you think anyone has failed to watch because "the AL is gonna dominate"?  Not so much.

What about the NHL All-Star Game?

If you include this season, and go back to the 5 prior seasons... the NHL All-Star Game has been held 3 out of 6 years.  Any game that is so easily pushed aside is a joke.  Can you believe that?  Because of the lockout, and the subsequent Olympic year (and this year being an Olympic year too), there hasn't been an All-Star Game HALF the time in the last six seasons.

There's no defense, no checking, and no fights.  They've tried many different formats over the years, but have returned to the East versus West format.  Doesn't that instill a huge burst of pride to play for a geography?  Not so much. 

Get this: in the 1992 NHL All-Star Game, there was not a SINGLE penalty called.  I can't even make this stuff up!  

Clearly, the NHL All-Star Game is a joke.  A huge joke.

The NBA All-Star Game isn't so bad, right?

There's one big problem with the NBA's All-Star Game.  The problem?  All-Star Saturday Night is better than the game itself.

What would you rather watch?  The Slam Dunk Contest and the Three Point Shootout?  Or a 150-130 game matching the East versus the West in a race to chuck up uncontested shots and run up and down the court?

I never miss an NBA All-Star Saturday... it's hugely entertaining.  I love the entire event.  I pass on the game itself.  Basketball needs physical defense and contested shots.  It needs fouls, emotion, and tension.  The All-Star game has none of that.

What are the issues with the Pro Bowl?

The Pro Bowl has a lot of the same issues that plague the NHL and NBA all-star games.  There are two issues that no matter what ideas the NFL comes up with will never change:

• There is no pride in playing for the AFC versus the NFC
• No one tackles hard, no one plays defense hard, and the rules force you to play base defense only (no blitzing)

There are some issues that could be changed:

• The game is meaningless
• Several of the elite players in the NFL will not participate and they aren't injured

First off, I think the move away from Hawai'i was a good move.  The Pro Bowl had a wonderful tradition in Hawai'i, but that wonderful tradition was of people not caring about it.     Whether you like the change in time and in venue or not, it has accomplished one thing: people are actually talking about the Pro Bowl.  That's a dramatic change from when most folks thought it was a professional grade toilet cleaner.

The change of venue is good because it makes the game more accessible, and the game will likely be played in front of bigger crowds than at Aloha Stadium.  A bigger crowd helps make events seem more exciting, even if it's a bunch of guys trying to make 60 minutes go by as fast as possible and to avoid hitting each other as much as possible.

The change of time is a really good idea, too.  Football season is something that progressively builds in excitement.  You start with some foreplay (NFL Preseason), then college football starts, with the NFL a week later.  You go through the regular season, and then it's college bowl season.  No sooner does the college bowl season finish then the NFL Playoffs start.  The action builds throughout the playoffs until you reach the climax of the Super Bowl.  And after you've climaxed, there's a refractory period until you're interested in more football again.  Having the Pro Bowl right after the Super Bowl without a refractory period is like... you get the idea.

Putting the Pro Bowl before the Super Bowl is great.  It makes the Pro Bowl part of the build-up to the Super Bowl and makes the Super Bowl the rightful end of all things football.  That's the way things ought to be.

So the timing is better, but it still stinks.  A Pro Bowl without Peyton Manning or Drew Brees?  You mean to tell me that two of the best quarterbacks in the NFL this year won't play a snap in the Pro Bowl and they AREN'T hurt?  That's ridiculous.

The Pro Bowl needs to be moved to shortly after the halfway point of the regular season.  I can even tell you the perfect day to play it.  The Pro Bowl should be played on Thanksgiving Thursday.  I don't see how you can get more perfect than that.  Lose one week of the preseason, move the start of the season back to Labor Day weekend, and take a week off for the Pro Bowl.

For anyone worried about playing a meaningless game on Thanksgiving, the NFL already does this every year on Thanksgiving when the Detroit Lions play.

I even know a way to make the game somewhat meaningful.  The conference that wins the Pro Bowl automatically wins the Super Bowl coin flip to start the game.  This isn't a huge deal by any means, but it's something.

When you're looking at a situation like the Pro Bowl, you have to ignore the things you can't change and work on the things you can change.

Players will never tackle hard.  Defense will never be tenacious.  Offensive sets and plays will be simplistic.  No one wants to get hurt or hurt someone.  No one has time to learn a whole new playbook.

There isn't a lot of conference pride in the NFL, but putting something as simple as the Super Bowl coinflip on the line would be something -- anything -- to play for.  Unless the AFC and NFC start playing intra-conference games a lot less often, and play by different rules, there just isn't going to be that much to differentiate the two.

I think the change of venue and the change of time were a positive step in the right direction for the Pro Bowl.  Move the game to the middle of the season, let all the best players play, put something on the line, and put it in front of a captive audience, and you'd have a product that could be so much more than it is today.

As it is, I certainly won't be watching the Pro Bowl.  This isn't a rare problem, because I won't watch the NBA or NHL All-Star Games either.  I commend Commissioner Goodell to be willing to change the status quo, but there's quite a ways to go.